Restart

So, I have this really awesome little computer which I love so much!  It really is fabulous, but occasionally, it likes to be a little difficult.  It can get a little slow...and when it gets really delayed, I just like to turn it off an restart it.  A restart can be a great thing, even though it takes awhile to reset, and it's kind of a pain, once you've restarted, you've got a fresh shot for smooth operation.

Finals week becomes this hectic, non-stop week of studying for endless hours, a midst trying to clean your apartment from top to bottom, because finals are stressful enough without adding cleaning checks at the end of the week.  (Don't even get me started on moving out during finals, that makes life even less fun.)  During all of this work, all you really want to do is celebrate the fact that the semester is almost over and spend time with the people who are either leaving for the summer, or maybe even forever.  

But...at the end of the week, when you've bubbled in your last Scantron and vacuumed the floor of your now spotless room, an immense feeling of accomplishment and relief floods in.  The garbage has been taken out, you sell back a textbook or two, and shut the door on the semester.

And then sometimes, you start right back up again.  And with a restart, you can do whatever you want.  You can try to get rid of a bad habit or two, and try to get some better ones going.  Don't leave all of your clothes on the floor, go to bed early, pay attention in class, start studying consistently, have more fun, and take more pictures.  The possibilities are endless, and they're always really easy to envision when you get a restart.

It's only day one, but hey, my room is clean, and my lights are out before 11:00.  So far, so good!

Lingering

Most often, life isn't easy.  Usually I have some vision in my head about how my life should be, it seems possible, but just out of reach.  I'm not saying that real life is awful, in fact, usually I find myself pretty dang happy.  But there are some days when nothing seems to be going the way I want it to.  And it's so frustrating, because in my head, I know that the plan that I have is the best plan, and I just want it to work out my way.

When things seem to all be going the "wrong" way, I get into this mode where I'm just unhappy and frustrated.  I can't snap out of it, and probably the bigger problem I find is that I don't want to.

"O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?" -2 Nephi 4:26

Yes, life isn't going to be easy.  But when I look back on my life and remember all of the blessings I have seen in my life, I realize that the Lord plays such an active role in my life, and does so many amazing things for me.  Even though I think I know which path I want to be on, He knows the path that I'm actually on.  He's shown me time and time again that He knows what He's doing.

So, what reason to I have to allow myself to "linger in the valley of sorrow"?

"Oh Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever." -2 Nephi 4:34

Everything's gonna be okay.

Opportunity Cost

In all of my econ classes, we'd always talk about opportunity cost.  Opportunity cost is what you are losing when you make a choice, like the benefit (which you are not receiving) of the option you choose not to take.

In life, I find that often the opportunity cost is what makes it so hard to make decisions.  Often, you have all of these great things in front of you, all of these amazing opportunities.  The only catch is you can't take all of them.  

Choices really are a blessing, we have this great gift of agency, so we can make our lives what we want them to be.  But sometimes, I wish that choices were more clear cut--if they're only one good option, obviously that's that one you're going to take.  

So, the hard thing about making decisions is all of the things you are leaving behind when you pick which one you think is right, and go with it.  Even though you know that you've made your choice, and you know it's a good one...you also know the potential of the the choices you didn't make, and you'll never know the full potential of what could have been if you had taken a different road.  

But the good things is, as long as you are making choices that feel right, and that you're happy with, eventually you'll end up somewhere you want to be.  I think there are many places where I could end up, and I'm determined that wherever I end up, I will be happy.

Some opportunities are lost when others are chosen, but ultimately, the one you pick is the one that makes you who you are, and it's worth it.      
  

Journaling

Something I have tried to consistently do for quite a few years is keep a journal.  There have been times when I haven't been very good at writing daily, but for the most part, I have a near daily journals that I have written in since about 9th grade.

It's so fun to go back and read what I wrote about.  It's been a long time since I've touched my high school journals, but I made sure to bring up my journal from my first two years of college.  It's crazy to read and remember the drama of freshman year.  There were things back then that were really hard for me, but today, I don't even remember them!  It's weird how something that consumed nearly every entry for days (or even weeks) is something that I haven't even thought about in more than a year.  

I'm glad that I kept a journal during those times, because it is neat to look back and see what I overcame, and how truly insignificant things can be in the long run.  

Of all the things I wrote down though, I wonder what things I left out.  There are plenty of entries filled with play-by-plays of Suns games, what I ate for dinner, and what homework I did...But those aren't really things that are going to be impacting to read years down the road.  Sure, people reading it may be entertained that those are the things I chose to write about, but what were the important things going on around me then?  

I've been trying harder to write things that will remind me of important things I have learned and experienced.  A lot of times, it's hard for me to write about the things that might be the most important, whether it's complicated or hard to express, or something that I think could be WAY embarrassing to look back on...

Keeping a journal of some sort is better than keeping no journal at all.  But I hope that my journaling skills will improve, so that one day my journal can be an even greater thing to look back on and read.